The Highway of Heroes
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: November 8, 2010
Highway of Heroes
With Remembrance Day approaching, I wanted to talk about the Highway of Heroes.
Here’s the clinical definition:
The Highway of Heroes is a designated route used to transport the bodies of dead Canadian soldiers from the Canadian airforce base in Trenton, Ontario to the Coroner’s Office in downtown Toronto. Once in Toronto, a forensic examination is conducted after which the body is returned home for funeral services. All soldiers killed in action are required to be examined by the coroner in Toronto and as a result will travel the Highway of Heroes.
Here’s the important stuff:
Upon arrival at Trenton airforce base, the family of the soldier will join with a party of Canadian dignitaries to receive the casket from the aircraft. Together this small group will participate in a short service of remembrance. The family will then be escorted to a limousine(s) and together with the funeral coach carrying their loved one they will travel for 90 minutes to Toronto. Unlike the ceremonies that take place on the tarmac, the procession along the Highway of Heroes is public. The cortege is accompanied by a police escort and the route is cleared to allow for the procession to proceed unencumbered. Along the way the family will be supported by hundreds and thousands of Canadians who come out in droves to stand on guard, to share the grief, to take responsibility, to bear witness, and to offer thanks for this ultimate sacrifice. Here in Canada the death of one of our soldiers is taken very personally.
Here is a Highway of Heroes tribute for you to watch. Lest we forget.
Funerals … they taste awful, and they work
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: November 2, 2010
Well friends, November marks the beginning of the cold and flu season. Here in Toronto, we can look forward to hearing commercial messages from the Buckley family, manufacturers of the best remedy for coughs, colds, sneezes, and sore throats, Buckley’s Mixture. Several times a day Mr. Frank Buckley will come over the airways to tell me about his family’s elixir that “tastes awful … and … works”. Frank’s funny ”cut to the chase” message has me laughing while nodding my head in agreement. Let’s face it, many of the things in life that “work” actually “taste awful”. Take for example, tough love or vaccinations or working out at the gym — these are all examples of rather unpleasant things that produce enormous benefits. Funerals fall into this category, too. I think it’s safe to say that nobody enjoys going to a funeral. However, once you finally get there you might be surprised to find that they actually “work”. Work??????? By work, I mean that funerals have a healing effect. They provide us an opportunity to honour the deceased and their family, they remind us how precious life really is, they give us an opportunity to meet up with long-lost friends, and might give us an excuse to bury the hatchet and start over. Poet, author and funeral director Thomas Lynch writes that funerals work because “the dead matter to the living. In accompanying the dead, getting them where they need to go, we get where we need to be …” While most people would agree that funerals, like Buckley’s, taste awful, I would hazard to guess that most come home after a funeral and agree that they “work”.
Funky Funeral Term: Funeral Coach
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 24, 2010
For you, Howard …
I was speaking with a business colleague the other day explaining that funeral directors use some confusing terms. Case in point … I asked him what he thought the term “Funeral Coach” referred to. He thought I was talking about a person, rather than a thing. A funeral coach, is a fancy term for a hearse. Thought you might like to see a few examples:
Typical current day example used in Canada/US
Motorcycle hearse
Bike hearse from Sunset Hills Cemetery, Eugene, Oregon
Japanese hearse
Horse drawn funeral coach
Today seems like the perfect day to talk about Green Funerals
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 17, 2010
I think there is still much confusion in the marketplace generally about green products and services. In fact, it seems that consumers themselves can be segmented into different “shades of green” when making buying decisions. With that said, I’ll give you a touch of green information as it pertains to funerals so you can see what’s available.
Casket
Biodegradable caskets are now widely available for purchase. These caskets do not contain metal or varnishes that would pose a hazard to the environment. Here is a link for more information: www.northerncasket.com
Preparation of the Deceased
The first thing to know is that embalming is not a requirement. The deceased may be placed in a casket or container without any formal preparations. Should the family wish to have the embalming procedure performed, there are various preservative products available to suit the shade of green acceptable to the family and the condition of the remains.
Burial
There are natural burial grounds being established all over the world. Natural burial grounds do not allow monuments or markers to be placed to mark the grave. Often, they look like open fields, as grounds keeping is not consistent with the green philosophy. Graves are dug by hand. Families are given GPS coordinates to locate the grave. Here is a link for more information: www.naturalburialassoc.ca
Cremation
Traditional cremation by fire is not in keeping with the green philosophy. A new technology, Resomation, is a form of biocremation that is environmentally friendly. This process uses a water based solution, rather than fire, to reduce the body to ash. Here is a link for more information: www.transitionscience.com
As a final thought …
“May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead”
(nobody says it like the Irish!)
My Funk Buster
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 16, 2010
I’m feeling a little flat today. Frankly, I’m wallowing in self-pity mourning the absence of my son who is enjoying a trip abroad to play rugby this March break. I needed a little pick-me-up and it occurred to me that maybe you might need a formula for breaking out of a funk today, too. So here goes …
1. Listen to Stevie Wonder sing “Isn’t She Lovely”. It brings to mind a picture of my youngest brother dancing to this tune. He loves to laugh and to dance and Stevie always helps him get his “groove on”. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like this song!
2. Play Stevie again and go to the kitchen and scrub out your kitchen sink. Put some muscle into it and make it shine. Not sure why this lifts my spirits, but it does.
3. Go outside. The weather is beautiful here in Toronto and a brisk walk around the block never fails to give me a lift.
Let me know if this works for you. Meanwhile, I’ll be scrubbing my sink.
If you’re Irish, Danny Boy is a must!
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 15, 2010
The St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are going full tilt here in Toronto. Wednesday is the big day. Let’s face it, no one knows how to throw a funeral like the Irish and of course, the show stopping folksong “Danny Boy” is a must play selection. So here are a few versions of the song that you might enjoy. I think the first version would be my choice for my funeral. Oh boy, oh boy!
Option 1
Option 2
A Tragic Week for Policing
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 13, 2010
Funeral Procession for Const. James Ochakovsky
Funeral Procession for Const. Vu Pham
This has been a sad week for policing here in Ontario. Tuesday, Constable Artem (James) Ochakovsky of the Peel Regional Police was honoured with a full police funeral in Mississauga and yesterday, OPP Constable Vu Pham, was laid to rest in Wingham, Ontario. One officer interviewed told the press “when one officer falls, we all stumble” a simple statement which explains why thousands of officers from all over North America gathered in Ontario to honour their fallen comrades this week. Police funerals take on a life of their own. While important for the broader community, they can be very stressful for the immediate family who must adapt to the stringent protocols established to ensure ceremonial efficiency. The two funeral firms that were entrusted with the arrangements for these officers are family run operations. I know that despite all the politicians, pipe and drum bands and processions of marching officers that the needs of these families would have come first under the care of these funeral homes. I know that the funeral directors would have acted as advocates for these families. There would have been many gentle reminders to the well-meaning protocol officers to “stand down” and give the family “some time”, “some say”, “some privacy”. I worry about the widows of these men. Now that all the activity and ceremony are over and all the people have gone home they must try to put their lives back together. Now the real work of grieving will begin.
Here are some photos of Officer Pham’s funeral. Kudos to the citizens of Wingham who came out in droves to support the family of this fallen officer.
Placard held by child in Wingham
Blue and yellow ribbons all over the town of Wingham honour Const. Pham
Love Being Here with You
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 10, 2010
My Dad has been dead now for 11 years. He loved a jazz singer by the name of Peggy Lee. Every year, she would visit Toronto and perform in the Imperial Room of the Royal York hotel. My Dad would go and see her year after year and would come home with tears streaming down his face declaring that he had seen the beautiful Miss Peggy Lee sing “just for him” that evening. My mother would always comment that Peggy’s numerous facelifts left her so taut that she could no longer smile, but would secretly agree that she still had that “it” factor that could hold an audience in the palm of her hand. Dad loved that Peggy made him feel like he was the only man in the room. He had that gift, too, and made people feel that he was always in the moment with them. In my experience, most funeral directors have this same gift. They love being with the families they serve and really believe that what they do for a living makes a difference. So here is Miss Peggy Lee, singing her trademark opening number, “I Love Being Here With You” Here’s to Dad, Peggy and all the families we serve … we love being here with you and for you.
Funeral Games
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 7, 2010
During my misspent youth, I dithered at University trying to find some direction for my life. For some strange reason, I took a number of classics courses (which, I might add were really interesting!). Unfortunately, my classics career came to an abrupt end upon learning that an inability to fluently read and write greek and latin posed a huge barrier to this line of study … but I digress.
One of the great works I studied during this time was Homer’s epic poem “The Iliad”. The poem tells of the Trojan war. In book 23, we hear about the funeral games hosted by Achilles for his dear friend Patroclus who died in battle. Funeral games were hosted as part of the funeral rituals for prominent warriors in the ancient world. They served as a means of honouring the memory of the deceased. Achilles put up some big prizes for the winners to entice all the best athletes to attend the games that honoured Patroclus. It also guaranteed a good showing of spectators at the event. I did a little scooting around the internet and found that funeral games had another purpose:
“The[re] are a number of possible explanations of the custom of funeral games such as to honor a dead warrior by reenacting his military skills, or as a renewal and affirmation of life to compensate for the loss of a warrior or as an expression of the aggressive impulses that accompany rage over the death. Perhaps they are all true at the same time.”
Another source states that the games provided a safe haven for people to mourn. After all, no one would take much notice of someone shedding a few tears and keening in the midst of all the activity of the competition. I think a few other benefits could be derived from the funeral games such as the activity they provided the mourners, the bringing together of the community for a common purpose and the sense of control that athletic prowess provides to those who have been thrown out of control as a result of the death. The major benefit however was the lasting memory that something positive was achieved by the death. I wonder how this ancient tradition could be adopted to our modern-day funeral rites? FuneralPoker.com? Dodgeball? Football fields abutting cemeteries — I’m not sure this would catch on … I guess the current standards of having a funeral and visitation serve the same purposes as the ancient funeral games. They bring us together, allow us to honour the deceased, they give us a sense of control, provide activity for the bereaved and a safe time and place to mourn. Good things come of deaths when mourners make memorial donations to charities in lieu of flowers or attend memorial golf tournaments and hockey games or endow hospitals and educational institutions with the resources to further their work. Got to give it to the ancients … they put a good system in place!
As a final thought … a week after the close of the Winter Olympic Games, I discovered another interesting fact: The ancient Olympic Games were an off shoot of the ancient funeral games. Keep that one in your back pocket next time you’re watching Jeopardy!
An undertaker on The Undertaker
Posted by: friendlyfuneralista on: March 4, 2010
Well, my boys’ hockey season is winding down and alas we are on a sports hiatus until the start of soccer and rugby seasons. There was nothing much on TV last night so the guys returned to the ol’ standby, wrestling. If you have ever watched a professional wrestling match, you have most certainly seen The Undertaker. He stands 7 feet something and weighs in at 305lbs. His “finisher” or signature wrestling move is known as “The Tombstone” . He is famous for his theatrical entrance into the wrestling ring which features a pyrotechnic display, a procession of torch bearing Druids all accompanied by a bell tolling funeral march. His uniform is a black spandex unitard, full length leather coat and black hat. He does this weird rolling his eyes move to give the impression that he is the “undead”. Apparently, the other 7ft something wrestlers are all afraid of him.
Hate to burst your bubble, Undertaker, but this undertaker is calling you out … I think you need makeover. Here’s a list of starters:
Instead of Druids get a posse of interning students
Dump the Funeral March and get a gospel choir to sing Amazing Grace
Spandex is just wrong …
Tombstones are too wild west … stick with milestones and monuments
Torches are excessively showy and raise havoc with the a/c … candles are much more elegant
Weird eye rolling moves should be reserved for dealing with contact lens emergencies only
Scythes are de rigeur. Save your Canadian Tire money and get a John Deere for cutting the grass.
Forget the raven and arrange for a dove or balloon release.
Call your local funeral home … they’ll look after everything!
In the meantime … here is the latest video of The Undertaker. You will see this played when he is introduced prior to each of his matches. I don’t understand the throne in this footage. Could someone fill me in????
