The Friendly Funeralista

An undertaker on The Undertaker

Posted on: March 4, 2010


Well, my boys’ hockey season is winding down and alas we are on a sports hiatus until the start of soccer and rugby seasons.  There was nothing much on TV last night so the guys returned to the ol’ standby, wrestling.  If you have ever watched a professional wrestling match, you have most certainly seen The Undertaker.  He stands 7 feet something and weighs in at 305lbs.  His “finisher” or signature wrestling move is known as “The Tombstone” .  He is famous for his theatrical entrance into the wrestling ring which features a pyrotechnic display, a procession of torch bearing Druids all accompanied by a bell tolling funeral march.  His uniform is a black spandex unitard, full length leather coat and black hat.  He does this weird rolling his eyes move to give the impression that he is the “undead”.   Apparently, the other 7ft something wrestlers are all afraid of him. 

Hate to burst your bubble, Undertaker, but this undertaker is calling you out … I think you need makeover.  Here’s a list of starters:

Instead of Druids get a posse of  interning students

 Dump the Funeral March and get a gospel choir to sing Amazing Grace

Spandex is just wrong …

Tombstones are too wild west … stick with milestones and monuments

Torches are excessively showy and raise havoc with the a/c … candles are much more elegant

Weird eye rolling moves should be reserved for dealing with contact lens emergencies only

Scythes are de rigeur.  Save your Canadian Tire money and get a John Deere for cutting the grass.

Forget the raven and arrange for a dove or balloon release.

Call your local funeral home … they’ll look after everything!

In the meantime … here is the latest video of The Undertaker.  You will see this played when he is introduced prior to each of his matches.  I don’t understand the throne in this footage.  Could someone fill me in????   



1 Response to "An undertaker on The Undertaker"

Hahaha!! Great post!! 🙂

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